Birthday Party

Dear Mom,

You'd have loved it (and simultaneously not loved it)--I wish you were here for my birthday party.

Some of the guests spontaneously offered to sing a benediction blessing:

Since I share a birthday month with Jesus, I opted to have us sing Christmas Carols instead of Happy Birthday (and a new tradition was born?).

I try to live life regret-free, but I regret that I didn't capture Thanh singing Mary Did You Know.  It was phenomenal.

We fed all the people.  That "we" is not a "Tim and Janet" but the work of many--my other friend Thanh helped me buy HEAPS of food and it was delivered (by motorbike) at 6pm and some other friends came early to decorate and set up food.

The nice thing about sharing a birthday month with the Big Guy is that your decorating theme is a given.  I never have to wonder if we should decorate "Under the Sea" or anything ... it's simply the day we put up Christmas decor, and that's one less decision and it's beautiful.

Guests came at 7pm and although some of them went home early, many of them stayed late into the night.  This morning we're providing work (cleaning the house) to one friend in need of work and to one lady who is a professional house cleaner.  The house cleaner, Nhung, was the one who was originally hired to clean this house when we were moving into it--the landlords had her here working when we visited and we discretely snagged her number.  She's glad of the work, and the cost to us is $6/hr, so we consider it a win/win!

I don't have any pictures that can communicate the press of bodies when we were all downstairs getting food before spreading out to the patio, the upstairs, etc.  In the picture above, there are even empty chairs!  But when we passed out candles to sing Silent Night at 8:30, we had exactly 50 candles and exactly 50 people to hold them.

The guest list was as eclectic as I could think to make it.  That's the part that created anxiety for people and would have for you, too.  So many unknown people!!

1. former students from the University of Foreign Languages
2. fiancés of these, who were 20 when we were here 10 years ago and are now inviting us to their weddings
3. international friends from Danang International Fellowship
4. two English clubs that we give our hearts to (We choose give them our time and energy, and we find that our hearts cleave to them like a kid's tongue to a frozen flagpole--there's nothing we can do to take back the mutual affection we feel for these English learners.)
5. the owners of the hotel we stay at when we first come, our landlords, and other friends we've made along the way. 

People came with gifts, but gifts are hard for me.  I get anxious when a gift is expected from me and it's very difficult for me to graciously receive gifts when the given item is something I don't want.  I very, very much wish that gift-giving would just disappear entirely--I've never learned how to swim in that current.

So I told people in my guest list "for gifts this year, I would like it if you help me stock up my snack bar."  The Vietnamese word I use for my snack cupboard is something like "corner kiosk where you can buy paper goods, snacks, shampoo packets, or a cold water."  It's in a wine rack that was built under the stairs that we've repurposed:

And the gift of those snacks... I authentically appreciate the gifts!  I'm sure some people would accuse me of Control issues on this, and I am not going to try to argue my way out of it.  I know people want to come not-empty-handed and so I channeled their desire to bring gifts into something that I could also appreciate.  It's a win-win?  Maybe?

Pics and Videos from my phone:  https://photos.app.goo.gl/6uqyWbcYk9R9HLqR7

Love,

Tim/Janet

PS.  My actual birthday party already happened in August.  I decided when I turned 50 that December is too cold for birthday parties, and I moved my birthday party to open-invitation birthday camping in August.  You're all invited.
So in December, when my day of birth rolls around, I've already done the shindig.  Except that in Vietnam it's NOT too cold for birthday parties!  We extended the party out onto the patio and had pretty great weather (light rain as opposed to pounding rain, and a couple days of mostly no rain at all in the preceding couple of days) and got to kick of the first of the season's Christmas parties in some ways, too.

Saturdays

Dear Mom,

I want to tell you about the whole elephant, but as I try to think about how to tell about ALL THE THINGS I am intimidated and my brain locks up.  So let me tell you about a specific toenail on its left front foot, let me tell you about yesterday (Saturday).

At 7:45 or a little after, I boarded my motorbike and noticed a definite chill in the air.  Temperatures in the 70s this week.  We've had a week of only periodic rains, with generous helpings of sunshine, but now it's another storm system moving in.

I met up with brothers from Danang International Fellowship (DIF is our church here), for western breakfast at a restaurant in the tourist neighborhood on the south end of the peninsula.  It's not a neighborhood we spend a lot of time in, though if we get to hankering for western food that's where we'd head.  They even have a western-style Chinese restaurant down there, and the owners embraced the irony by naming it the "Mayflower American Chinese Restaurant."

The guy I'm with in this selfie was among those who gathered yesterday for breakfast.  He was born in Vietnam and left with his family as a toddler.  Now he's returned and is working on getting his foreign-Vietnamese paperwork so he can naturalize.  Neat person.

Lunch with a couple from DIF at our house.  Restful, joyful. 

Oh!  And after lunch I returned some serving pans to this street restaurant.  She had delivered trays loaded with fish/meat/veggies and about a thousand rice paper wraps for a DIY rice-paper-rollup party we had hosted Friday night, and on my errands-list was to return her trays.  We fed 12 people for 830,000 and had leftovers to send home with the kids!

Then after that errand I went and met with a landlord who has a house for rent in the city center.  Not for us--we're very happy with our house here--but for some folks who are visiting in January.  They'll use the house for a week, and although I've seen the house and confirm it's not a scam, I wanted to also meet the landlord and look him in the eyes.  I've had TOO many instances of bait-and-switch with housing here.  Nice guy.  He's the real deal.

Home in time to meet An for a bit when she stopped by after work.  Love that girl.

Then after dinner on Saturday we had extended an invitation to lots of the folks who knew us 10 years ago, and several of them came and we enjoyed their companionship.  

They got a KICK out of playing a comical-competitive game on our Nintendo.  I hope you click on a video to see their responses, because they're such a hoot:

https://youtu.be/fhEDlqiCBTM?si=SKHTVjiuPNbKFDPU

https://youtu.be/lzd6Vh-9rRU?si=YjwZ82bm02NIuE3n

Another busy and FUN Saturday in the books.  That's how we roll!

Love,
Tim/Janet

PS.  

Looking west toward Han Bridge from the high road at Vincom.

PPS:

This is the view from the riverside Marriott top floor.  Starting looking west to the hills, then panning south, east to the Son Tra peninsula, and then finally up north toward Monkey Mountain.

https://youtu.be/L-_B0UvOlrM?si=Tb3v3NvKWTUGIo4a

Moving to Danang

Dear Future Self,

You're moving to Danang!  That's fantastic!  Allow me to share with you the things you/I thought of when I moved here this fall.  Some things below I did and I'm super happy to have done, and others are things I only wish someone had recommended to me, so I'm recommending them onwards.  

First off, let me point you back to this post about coming for a visit:  https://vietnamchases.blogspot.com/2025/10/youre-coming.html

Now, let's upload the advice for moving here, which is slightly different ...

Delay going to Danang:
Your body has a different jetlag response when you're just traveling for a short trip vs when you're moving 12 time zones and flipping day and night.  Instead of hurrying to get to your destination, take 5 full days to adjust to the time zone, rest from the busy buzz of last-minute packing and travel, get physically well enough so that when you do arrive in your destination you are really 100% present.  It might feel like wasted time, but it will shorten the transition time overall.

Delay getting into a Lease:
Arrive and get over jet lag, then move directly into a tiny Airbnb apartment for a two week booking.  Look for housing, but you're in no hurry.  If you find what you like the first day, they'll hold it for two weeks.  If you're still looking after two weeks, get into another place for two weeks.  Easy.

Tell your friends NOT to delay coming:
We've got friends coming at the end of our time here this time around, and that will be nice because we can send some of our stuff home with them.  But it SURE would be nice to go first, get settled, then have a small team of friends come maybe two weeks later, packing your stuff and ready to first-hand experience your new place (so they can be more fully with you sharing your adventures the rest of your time abroad).  In that context, it would make sense to purchase at thrift stores back home things that you *could* just as well buy new in Danang once you arrive but so many of those small items begin to add up to real money when you have to lay out rent and deposit and pay so many other starting costs.  I'm thinking of forks and spoons, kitchen towels, etc.  We actually brought an area rug to Vietnam in our checked luggage this time and it's a happy thing to have.

To bring next time (these are also available in Vietnam)

• Kitchen spatula 
• Forks and spoons 
• Helmet 
• Sunglasses 
• Kitchen and bath towels 
• Quilt
• Chinese chili oil 
• Maple syrup 
• mobile keyboard 
• White shirt
• Christmas decorations, outfit 

Not available for purchase here:

• Goo gone
• Mashed potato packets
• Cooking oil (Kirkland avocado oil)
• Mushroom seasoning powder (without msg)
• Black slacks and shoes for formal occasions
• Christmas wall hangings, flat decor

Shop at Mega, Lotte, JollyMart, the baking stores.  Skip Go, Vincom, Cho Con.

Get an all-over massage at Queen Spa in Danang if you didn't already get that done in your first landing spot.  But actually get it done when you first arrive, wherever you end up going for acclimatizing and jetlagging.  Did I already recommend jetlagging in Dalat?

Go to Danang International Fellowship the very first Sunday and invite someone out to lunch afterwards.  Ask to join the announcement chat groups.

Get Grab app and Zalo App and Whatsapp working on your phone BEFORE you leave for your international travel.  Hook up your credit card to Grab app.

Get a 2-week sim card at the airport, but then whenever it's convenient, you'll go get a local sim card with your passport (Viettel, Mobifone, etc).  Once you have that, you can go into a bank (we use SacomBank) with your passport-aligned phone and your passport and foreign currency, and open an account so you can play the pay-by-QR-code game.  It's so important!  You'll also be using this local account to receive any funds wired from home.

Towing a Trailer

Dear Mom,

I'm afraid it just never gets boring (to me) about how to transport goods in this culture.  It's probably because in Oregon I have a fancy truck with a top rack for hauling really long lumber and super long extension ladders, and I have a utility trailer and sometimes I rent a double-axel trailer for hauling earth-moving equipment or for dump-trailer functionality.  So it's a professional interest and a lifestyle intersect, and to have it all be so amazing different here is just difficult to wrap my head around.

Early in our time here I took this photo:

Some astute viewers will immediately recognize this for what it is, but for me it's still a boggle.  This, my friends, is a moto-trailer.  You position the crossbar on your motorbike just behind your tailbone, load the trailer with all the weight forward, take off slowly, and hope you never have to hard-brake during your trip.

In the photo above, and behind the moto-trailer, you can see what is essentially my local ACE Hardware.  They have most of the tools and wall anchors and spray paint that I need.  To buy specialty tools I need to head to the parts of town where those specific tools and supplies are sold.  Did I ever tell you about replacing the hockey puck lights in our dining room?  Finding those lights was an adventure!

Before I show you more photos of moto-trailers, I should add the caveat that not everyone uses a moto-trailer when the need arises.  I bought a couch loveseat from a foreigner and my friend, Nha, arranged a minivan-sized moving truck to transport it for $11.  I saved this photo mostly so I could have his phone number if something else comes up that I need help transporting.

And then early last week I was able to capture all the rest of these moto-trailer photos on a single day before noon.  Two outings, and I got a lucky break to see so many while my phone was handy or when Janet was riding with me and could capture the shot.

Video of a lady with an empty trailer, southbound on the High Road near our house.  Her trailer connection is a little different, because instead of resting on the seat, the crossbar has a bolt down into the back of the motorbike.  I see that style about as often as the ones where the crossbar rests on the seat behind you or where you have to sit on the crossbar (you have to do that when the trailer is empty and there's not enough tongue weight).  https://youtube.com/shorts/c_JOh9VzLK8?feature=share

The photo above shows a guy with a moto-trailer carrying rebar in coils and lengths.  Easily 800 pounds.

And the weight is NOT what impressed me about this guy's load, yet I'm impressed.  And it wasn't even on a trailer--all that styrofoam is just on his bike as he transports it from point A to point B, cool as a cucumber.  I get all wobbly when I transport a metal dining table home from the market, so I'm telling you he has my Respect.

The next three pictures that I took that morning are all one guy's load.  This intersection is down at the Dragon Bridge and the High Road, where we're all about to turn left to go out toward the ocean beaches.  After some of the super-sized or very heavy loads, this one seems a little unremarkable.  Just a normal way to haul some plywood out to the job site.

Now it's several days since I wrote the above, and since I haven't sent the Dear Mom letter yet, I'm adding to it with some additional videos and pics.

https://youtube.com/shorts/TZ5JqYpu_yk?si=TCYpDIMRq4gEC-1P

And every now and then, on the streets of Da Nang I see a truck like mine with a ladder rack and an "extended cab" for additional passengers behind the driver (not really, I'm just kidding). Like this example:

https://youtu.be/rJ-g96j5wiw?si=uz0Hnwt-HhaaTQnQ

Now, some of you might have missed the truck with ladder rack and extended cab for passengers, but I encourage you to watch that clip again and look for the truck driver in a turquoise jacket and white helmet.  Early in my Vietnam time I, too, would have missed recognizing this moto-trailer assembly for what it is, at heart.  

Love,

Tim/Janet

Weather and Traffic

Dear Mom,

Vietnam just set a new PERSONAL BEST record for 24-hour rainfall.  Hue (HWAY), to the north of us, last week recorded just over 100cm in 24 hours.  Let that "soak" in for a minute: One meter of rain in a day.  Yes, it means that the backyard swimming pool that we had one summer when I was a kid, with a little A-frame ladder to go up and over, and 3' walls and hard to keep clean ... the rainfall here filled that pool to overflowing between one day and the next.  These days it's not nonstop raining like it was last week, and while Hue and Hoi An are both flooded per their annual tradition, the water is beginning to recede.

Vietnam Floods: streets ... in pictures: https://www.theguardian.com/world/gallery/2025/oct/31/vietnam-floods-hoi-an-tourist-spots-submerged-pictures

It's caused us only the inconvenience of not being able to go out much, which is just fine in the context of things.  We live in a climate with a rainy season, and we're good at it.

I so much wish that we could properly capture rain on a video, but it just never does justice to the violence of what's dumping from the sky.

On the way to meet a friend for breakfast this morning (Bún Chả Hanoi) we were suited up for downpour but the drive there was entirely dry.  Then while we were at a coffeeshop afterwards it DUMPED rain ( 11-second video ) and we were glad to observe from a dry vantage!

Also, take a look at this very short video.  It's understandable if at first you can't make sense of what you're seeing, because it is in fact a motorbike hauling another motorbike.  That's unusual even by local  standards.

Traffic Video

In the video above (and embedded below?), I've watched it beginning to end several times (on silent) and I want you to know that everyone is obeying the traffic laws and rules.  Actually there are two small caveats to that.  The maroon poncho on a white bike isn't from around here and thought he was going to go up and to the right but that's a one-way coming towards us.  So he loops around, and ends up going off the screen to the right, which is also a one-block one-way opening out into this intersection.  He's going the wrong direction, but he's fine.  The white car coming out of that street waits for a long time (too long) for his chance to cross; he should have nosed on out and been pushier--that way he'd have gotten to proceed when the two oncoming cars turn right.  Otherwise, every decision in this light chaos is spot on, and if you're going to drive here you might want to watch on repeat until you feel the rhythm of it and find yourself making every choice in sync with the drivers you see.  They're all driving perfectly normally.

Love,

Tim/Janet

PS.  English Clubs

What you can't see in the photo above is that when I came to this English club the moderator pointed me to the group of girls and said "can you lead this table?"  But the girls had never met each other and two of them were panic-stricken at having to talk to a native English speaker.  The other three were delighted, but their cumulative speaking/listening skills added to about 3/4 cup, so we had 45 minutes of very slow, deliberate conversation revolving around whether I like Vietnamese food and their studies at the Foreign Language University.  It's usually painful, but we willingly put ourselves into these situations for the benefit of the English Club organizers.  In this case, this English club is run by our friend who was a student last time we came and who now runs two successful English centers, and for us to come gave his English Club a boost.

You're Coming?

Dear Mom,

(Real Mom, I'm hoping and continuing to Hope that your healing progresses with blessing, and that you'll be able to come as planned in December.)  Other Moms, some of you have said you're also hoping to come for a visit and we are so excited!

So here's all the things some of the many things to think about:

First of all, you can get your e-visa up to 6 months ahead of time, so the time is already now:  https://vietnamchases.blogspot.com/2025/07/vietnam-e-visa.html

When you're arranging your flights, check flights to DAD from your originating airport, but don't be alarmed if the cost is super high.  Next check flights from SEA/SFO/LAX to DAD, because usually if you get a domestic flight to that outgoing city (keep several hours of bumper time to allow for luggage retrieval and checking in for the international flight) it's a lot cheaper to just do your international flight from one of those three.  

While you're still home using your own phone (and you do have a phone that is provider-unlocked for international travel, right?) please download these three apps and then create a login and authenticate your phone # for all of them: WhatsApp and  Zalo and Grab.  Allow/authorize them to send you notifications, and ultimately you will give Grab your credit card info, too.

Credit cards!  You'll want to verify that you're carrying a primary credit card that charges no international use fees.  Most debit cards (only use them in ATMs--nothing else) will hit you with an international use fee from home as well as a 2% fee charged by the local machine, but if you get a checking account at Charles Schwab they 1) don't charge an international use fee and 2) they repay the fee charged by the ATM here.  So it's a double win, and if international travel is something you'll do a lot, I can heartily recommend Schwab.  If you bring cash, bring the most pristine, unmarked, crisp, clean, new-style $100 bills you can find.  

You'll usually be flying through Korea or Taiwan.  I haven't developed a preference for either option, and I'm able to recommend nice ways to spend long layovers in either place.  Let me know about your flights.

Our airplane-sleeping strategy:  We boarded the plane Stateside and each watched half of a movie and took a sleeping pill before they came by with an airplane meal, and then we put on eye masks and dropped off for something like 6 hours of sleep.  When we woke up, we only had 3-4 more hours of flying to do before landing.  Then we slept a little on the final flight to Da Nang.  Basically, sleep as much as you can, with help from a sleeping pill, while you are flying.  You're bringing earplugs and an eye mask, right?

Customs in Da Nang airport is straightforward.  Follow the throng through the halls and finally down the escalator.  Stand in any long line as long as it doesn't say "Vietnamese Citizens."  The word ASEAN has a meaning but you can stand in any of those other lines, including an ASEAN line.  You won't need your eVisa (I think)--just your passport.  By the way, please send me a good picture of your passport page ahead of time, because we'll need to submit that to the hotel and various police authorities depending on where you stay.

After customs, get your luggage.  After luggage and before exiting the airport, it is wickedly important that you get your phone working with local cellular data.  Just sidle up to the friendly people at the SIM card counter and offer them a $100 bill to make your phone(s) happy.  Get your change in local VND, even though the exchange rate is slightly less than optimal--you're only missing out on a couple of dollars  (theoretically, there's a money-changing counter you can go to before the SIM card counter, but they're never open when I come through, and there's no ATM inside the airport).  Once you leave the airport, it's a headache to get your phone working, and YES you need your phone working here.  

After you've got your luggage and a working cell phone, notify me via Facebook, Zalo, or WhatsApp that you've ARRIVED.  Wheel your luggage out the exit doors near the SIM card counter and don't expect anyone to want to check your baggage.  It's almost awkward how they 100% wave people through and don't want to see in anyone's bag.  We'll be nearby but not actively watching the exit doors, and I'll be glad to get your message and come help get you into one of the waiting taxis and whisk you away into this traveler's paradise.  

Love,

Tim/Janet

Neighborhood Ride

Dear Mom,

The sound quality isn't great ... if you watch on your phone you might have better luck hearing our explanations.

Video 1:  https://www.loom.com/share/f9b3e167bb3b4924a3eaceea18442834

This 5 min video starts in our local business district neighborhood across the busy high road to the west.  We drive around the north side of the market and up to the high road to head back down toward Vincom.

Video 2:  https://www.loom.com/share/66cdd7f7198a412abd161fc6d4ef6522

These 4 minutes continue on the high road south to where the enormous Vincom roundabout used to be, we hang a u-turn at the light, and proceed onto our street and stop and buy some items from a lady who sells veggies like a one-woman mini market just 5-6 doors down from us.

Love,

Tim and Janet

What's that on your front porch?

Dear Mom,

I am pleased to tell you that I provide no end of amusement to my neighbors.  They think my attempts to speak Vietnamese are precious and hilarious, and we're just generally inexplicable as people.  For example, I recently saw some of the older women of our neighborhood dressed up fancy in their Áo dài (careful, that d is pronounced like a Y and Z at the same time) and I went over with my friend, Google Translate, to talk to them.  They had rented a large van to take them to an amusement park for Vietnamese Women's Day.  I think it's probably a new Japanese-themed park over on the west part of the bay, and I did confirm that they weren't going to Bana Hills, which is the only other park I know about.

Oh, but they were giddy.  They laughed and said I should jump in the van with them, and wondered if I had bought them any gifts for Women's Day.  They were buying little snacks and treats from the corner vendor before loading up in the van for their excursion.  When we were done with our breakfast noodles and walking back to the house, the van passed and we waved and they all waved back with big grins.

But while I consider it something of a duty to provide the occasional chuckle, I don't want to be a laughingstock, or offensive.  Like this:

Do you see what's going on there, in that photo?  Take in the grass mat outside the house at the front door.  Seriously?  What are the foreigners DOING?  Zoom in so you can appreciate the cultural gaff.

We bought two of the colorful grass mats at the local market.  Rolled them out and found that they perfectly fit the entry.  Pretty much awesome!  Such a great patio vibe, right? Then one of our old friends (a 10-year friend, as opposed to some of the ones who are newly entering our lives) came over and stopped, screwed up her face, tilted her chin to the side, and VERY tactfully said, "What's your vision here?" She listened as we told her our idea for making the front area more attractive, for changing shoes and putting bags down, etc. She listened, then over lunch she said, "I think I really do have to tell you something." 

We are so grateful to have friends who will keep us from unintentionally offending people! After many reassurances that we wanted to hear everything she had to say, that she wasn't hurting our feelings, she told us that those grass mats have a lot of underlying cultural meaning and value. They are a traditional handicraft, and there's a feeling that the hand-made crafts need to be protected and honored. They are meant to be sleeping mats, and the elderly and people from the countryside often prefer a grass mat on a hard surface rather than a mattress to sleep on.  

Grass mats are also a floor-level table cloth.  You can host a party and invite everyone to sit on the mat and share food and drink, on the floor but separated from the floor's surface by the grass mat. The grass mat is a place to sit or lie down, not a place to walk and certainly not a place to put your shoes. 

Some of this we already knew--such as that people sit and sleep on the mats--but we didn't already know the "vibe" attached to them, and what it feels like to people if you use them the wrong way. 

It's a little bit like having a quilt made by your grandma or great-grandma. You recognize that its first purpose is for covering a bed. And maybe, if you don't need it on any of the beds in your house, you use it as a picnic blanket so the family can keep enjoying Grandma's quilt. But what you definitely would not do is use it as a covering for your front porch so people could take their shoes off on it, wipe their feet a bit, then come into your house. 

That's what it felt like to our friend. We don't know how many of our neighbors saw this display for the half day that it was there, but the next day, when I saw a grandma pushing a baby stroller past our open gate, and I watched her watch our house, I was glad to know I wasn't dishonoring a cherished handicraft!

Love,

Tim and Janet

House-Tour Video

Dear Mom,

On a personal (real-Mom) note, you broke your leg above the ankle?!!?  I'm so sorry for that!  Sending my thoughts your direction.  I looked into the more expensive flights, seats where you could elevate your leg and have more room for movement ... they are SO EXPENSIVE flying over the Pacific.  I hope you'll still be able to come in December.  Even more thoughts!

This is our house here:

Link here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZ2hukP5GOs

Yesterday we met this 28 year old friend in a coffee shop.  She's excited to bring a group of her friends to meet us at our house.

And these 30 year olds from Vision Cafe days came over after their work day ended Saturday and chilled at our place.  Grateful to reconnect!

Housepitality

 Dear Mom,

A couple nights ago we went out cruising by motorbike and got phở at a special little restaurant in our new neighborhood.

.

For context, 52k is roughly $2. And then yesterday we went back to the same neighborhood and had Banh Cuon for breakfast:

I wish you were here! And with food like this, I think you wish you were here, too!

And this our neighborhood. (click for a video description of the map)

When I was at a local English club Sunday afternoon (Gosh, that was YESTERDAY? Time is warping over here—some days feel like weeks!), I expressed a desire to host people in our house, and it is so very, very heartwarming to see the delight and hopeful disbelief in their eyes when they realize I’m inviting them into my space.

These three went out to dinner with us the night we moved in:

And last night we hosted leadership from a second English Club at our place.

We’re still getting things organized and put away, and working on decorating so the walls aren’t so white. We know we owe you more of a photo-tour of the whole house. We promise to send more pics eventually—hopefully the building suspense will keep you checking your inbox. ;-)

Here’s a couple photos from the realtor, before we moved in:

Our bedroom is the second floor balcony.

We’re grateful to be able to park our motorbikes behind the gate at night. There is lots of space for guests to park both inside and outside the gate, and on our street there is no traffic aside from the residents who live on the street. A quiet street in an urban center!

Love,

~Tim/Janet

Tomorrow, A House

Dear Mom,

We chose a house and we’re happy with our decision.  

The resorts and public beaches are 1km east of our house at the red place marker, and we are closer to the north-flowing Han River than we are to the beach.  The river separates the main city from the Son Tra peninsula, and we do a lot of our navigation based on which bridge we should use to get to a shop in the central city.  If you listen in on our conversations as we motor south in Son Tra, you’ll hear us say things like “Okay, so this is the road that goes to the Dragon Bridge…”  and “Now we’re almost to the big southern bridge road.”  We don’t know the road names very well, yet.  Oh, and it’s worth noting that when you say Son Tra (which is the district that is everything east of the river) you should be saying “SONE JAH” with a long O and a very soft J in place of TR.  

Today we bought an expensive mattress, a bunch of chairs, and other random stuff for setting up house.  Tomorrow at 10am we’ll sign papers on a 7 month rental contract, and move in one hour later.  The mattress will be delivered in the afternoon.  

In the evening some friends will join us for a first dinner at a local place.  Janet and I cruised the neighborhood last night to scout promising places to eat, and one banh xeo place was particularly packed with people (always a good sign).  It’s a typical neighborhood hole-in-the-wall place with small plastic stools and nothing particularly amazing about the ambiance, but if the food is good we want to know about it as an option for when people are over and we want to go out and get dinner together.

Soon we’ll have pics of the house, and a report of whether the banh xeo was any good.  ("bahn SAY-oh")

We keep thinking that we’re 100% over jet lag, and then we get hit in the head with a sleepless night, even though we’re past 10 days now.  Last night I was awake from 1:30am to 4am (I was trying for a night without sleeping aid), and I’m hoping to sleep better tonight as tomorrow is an important moving day!

Love,

Tim/Janet

PS.

From Janet’s phone, first week in PHOTOS.  If you’re on a phone, the videos might play best if you watch them in a Google Photos app.

PPS.  

In the map above, all the teal flags are placemarkers of my Dining Danang maps overlay.  Every time I go somewhere and think “I’d like to bring friends back here” for coffee/food, I drop a pin into my map.  There are already lots of good options—I’m sure there will be a future letter, or many, about the culinary delights of this place.

PPPS.

Tonight we had bún thịt nướng at a local place that we knew from 10 years ago.  As I paid for our meal ($1.50 each), I used Google Translate to post a big note on my phone and held it out to the proprietress in the red apron (same lady from 10 years ago) saying “Delicious, as always.”  This made her grin with pleasure.

Today, A House

 Dear Mom,

It’s still the quiet of the morning and I’m still not sure I have the right answers, but life feels a little more clarified than yesterday.  Clarified.  That’s not to say perfectly clear, but lots of the muddy silt has dropped out of the churning water in my bucket and settled down overnight, and the water above the silt is clear enough to see through.  If I wanted to put a stick into the muck at the bottom, I could make the water cloudy again, but if I’m careful the water will stay clear.  Clear enough.

That’s partly to do with your many thoughts toward us, I know.  Ask for thoughts from home and get ready to receive hope!  Wow.  “Thank you thank you thank you cảm ơn.”  (Which is what I’ve taken to saying to people here.  More about that in a Post Script.)

If I’m grateful for your thoughts for me, and I am, imagine the emotions of my soul when I was writing just now and remembered this one:

Okay.  Here’s where we’re at.  We’ve asked to see again a pretty good house in a pretty good neighborhood today.  It’s one that we saw the other day when we were so disappointed to lose the amazing house.  Er … I think I need to back up for the benefit of those newly tuning in.

Early this summer we reached out to the same realtor team that helped us find a rental house 10 years ago.  They’re still in business and agreed to help us find a house, even though normally they only work with clients renting for a year or more.

I cruised through the houses listed online (they’re mostly sham listings, click-bait) and chose one that had a gorgeous open-plan living room and kitchen, plants and trees outside on the wall, aircon in the living room, the works.  I said “we don’t care about the bedrooms, but we want a house where we can cook together with friends and have more than one table set up for games/eating in the living room” and I sent them the link to the click-bait, too-good-to-be-real one.  Now, several months later, they were showing us unsuitable houses with all kinds of fancy bedrooms and narrow/small/normal living spaces.

And then.  

They said “now, if you want to we could go see this house today… it’s a little more expensive …” AND THERE IT WAS.  Phuong was showing me her phone and I grabbed my phone and scrolled way back and matched up photos from my phone to hers.  She was saying that she could show me the exact house that I’d used to shape our hoped-for outcome.  Saying DREAM HOUSE is a little strong, but it is a gorgeous house in a perfect location.  We went to visit, gave it our hearts, and then when we sat down to go over final details she said “minimum 12 months” and showed the realtor the text exchange in which she had specified this.  Crushing.

Probably if we weren’t hot and still jetlaggy, being full of the right kind of joy, strong in every good way and detached from the material pleasures of life, it would have been fine.  “Oh, that perfect house you offered us isn’t available?  Gotcha.  Okay, moving on…”  

But for us it felt crushing.

Today’s clarity, then is several things.

1. We’re not looking for an apartment.  We’ve tried getting our heads around how hosting 8 motorbikes at a time can be a good thing in an apartment setting, and it just doesn’t work.  Maybe sometime this year we’ll see something and say “ah!  next time let’s move to that sort of apartment!” but though we’ve tried, we can’t make it feel right.

2. We’re ready to settle for pretty good.  The PERFECT was introduced to us and then removed, and I’ll sort that out with Dad later.  But today at 4pm, unless something comes from sideways, we’ll sign for a pretty good house in a pretty good neighborhood.

So thanks for thinking.  Hoping for continued clarity in the next 8 hours.

~Tim/Janet

PS.  

You would not believe how many local people have some basic English now.  And how many local people are now fully proficient!  It’s a dramatic change.  

Saying “thank you” is more of a western thing than an Asian thing, as a general rule (we say it flippantly, all the time, for every little thing, but other cultures tend to reserve thanks for larger occasions, I think).  So I’ve taken to saying “Thank you thank you cảm ơn” to people in place of trying to get the “cảm ơn” by itself to communicate, because the thanks are a little out of place and they don’t expect me to be reaching for some tiếng Việt. Saying thanks in my own language first cues them to what I’m communicating and then when I flip it and say it in their language they can hear it.

“Thank you thank you cảm ơn” seems to be working very well as a language strategy, and I get big smiles when I do it.  So to you also, for thinking of us:

“Thank you thank you cảm ơn”

Happy, Mostly

 Dear Mom,

I’ve been waiting to write because I wanted to write with the happy news that WE FOUND OUR HOUSE!

We did find some good options, and one AMAZING option that turned out not to be an option.  More about the house-hunting later, when there is real news.  For now, we feel discouraged no sad no pessimistic no … we feel STUCK.  We are at a lovely @ 600K/night hotel with fabulous air con in the bedroom and a sweet garden courtyard, and we get to toot around on motorbikes and eat noodles with friends, but the ambient heat here still drains the life out of us, and we have decision fatigue, and we had some clear guidance about a house not to take but no clarity about whether to go forward with a good-enough house, or move into a less expensive apartment with inconvenient motorbike parking, or what.  The indecision feels … I’m unable to complete that thought so I’ll pretend that it’s a complete thought in and of itself.  The indecision feels.

I know enough to know better; I know lots of true things:

Cast all my cares. Seek first.  Trust.  Turn my eyes upon. The battle doesn’t belong to me. Take every thought captive. Foxes have holes. It’s irrelevant about having plenty or being in want.

And in my STUCK misery I still know all those true things, but …

(Actually it’s not the waiting that’s feeling wretched…

it’s the feeling stuck.  Should we be deciding something?

Or should we be pausing before deciding?  Stuck.)

Meh.  

So here’s some photos from first days.  Sorry there aren’t any captions or explanations. Sorry they can’t convey how thickly muggy the air is, here in Đà Nẵng.  

Click for First Days Pics.

Oh!  But I should say that we’ve received several encouraging notes from home.  They may not have got our hearts unstuck, but that’s hardly your fault. Each time they are a benefit, and I’m so grateful.  Just a friendly “fingers crossed” reply email is all that’s needed—it’s a real pick-me-up on our end.

Love,

The Kids.